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Sleeping in separate beds spiced up our sex life: Experts weigh in

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This husband and wife improved their boom-boom by sleeping in separate bedrooms.

Terri-Ann Michelle, a married mother of three, unwittingly sparked a now-viral social media controversy after revealing that she and her husband, Jamie, “improved” their sex life by sleeping in different beds, in different rooms of their house.

“Our [love-making] is actually better because we’re both getting better sleep, and it puts us in better moods,” Michelle, 32, told The Post.

“And we’ve made it more exciting by coming up with fun ways to be intimate. Afterward, we’re like, ‘OK, it’s time for bed,’ and sleep in our separate rooms,” she added, noting that they do share their master suite on weekends.

Michelle, a hairdresser and stay-at-home mom who lives in a six-bedroom house in Ontario, Canada, briefed her over 20,000 TikTok followers on her bizarre boudoir arrangements Tuesday. 

Michelle was shocked to discover that many of her TikTok followers also had separate rooms from their husbands.
Credit: terriannmichelle/TikTok

“I know a lot of people will disagree with this, but I don’t care,” she penned in the closed captions of her trending clip — which has racked up over 143,000 views. “My husband and I don’t sleep in the same bed (during the week) and it made our intimate relationship BETTER!”

And experts agree that a bedroom breakup can profoundly enhance a pair’s romance.

“Choosing to sleep in separate beds, and even separate rooms, in order to increase the quality and frequency of great sleep is a wonderful way to enhance your sex life, because it also puts a big emphasis on your own physical health,” “Married at First Sight” sex and relationship expert Viviana Coles explained to The Post. “And anything that you can do to increase and improve your physical health enhances your sexual health.”

"Married At First Sight" expert Dr. Viviana Coles says sleeping separately can enhance a couple's romance.
“Married at First Sight” expert Viviana Coles says sleeping separately can enhance a couple’s romance.
Courtesy of Dr. Viviana

Coles, author of “The 4 Intimacy Styles,” went on to champion the non-traditional sleeping craze for its lusty bond-building benefits.

“Looking forward to spending some quality and intentionally focused time with your partner can get people‘s anticipatory reactions going, and that tends to ignite a person’s physical and psychological arousal,” she told The Post. “And it does broaden a couple’s ability to roleplay and have novel [sexual] experiences, which in a long-term committed monogamous relationship, can be hard to come by.”

And TikTok commentators approved of the unconventional mattress mix-up, too. 

Terri-Ann Michelle went viral after sharing that she and her husband "improved" their intimacy by sleeping in separate bedrooms.
Terri-Ann Michelle went viral after sharing that she and her husband “improved” their intimacy by sleeping in separate bedrooms.
Credit: terriannmichelle/Instagr

“My husband and I have separate rooms it was the best decision ever,” said one backer of the separate bedrooms trend. “OMG US TOO! I’ve almost felt embarrassed for people to know, people judge. think it’s weird. New business & new baby! we had to do something! Sleep!,” chimed another. 

However, a handful of harsh-talking haters bashed the unorthodox bunking fad, scribing snide remarks like: “I can’t sleep without my husband. He can’t sleep well without me. I’ll keep it that way. It doesn’t make much sense to not sleep together,” and, “Nope I married my husband for better or worse. I can’t imagine not having him in our bed. I would miss him.”

But Michelle and Jamie — a business owner who wakes up before dawn each day — first began sleeping separately five years ago after they welcomed their oldest son, and have since lived happily ever after.

“I am a super light sleeper,” she said. “And I became more resentful of my husband, who’d be snoring loudly in his peaceful sleep, while I was jumping out of bed to take care of the crying baby all night long.”

“And on top of being disturbed by his snoring or the baby’s crying, his alarm clock would go off at 4 a.m., and I just wanted to smother him with my pillow,” she joked. 

But when Jamie officially moved out of their master bedroom and into the nanny suite of their home, Michelle’s bitterness flew right out the window. 

“Since we’ve begun sleeping separately, I’ve realized that I don’t resent him anymore. In fact, I’m very thankful for everything he does, and how well we’ve learned to communicate with one another because of our arrangement,” she said. “It’s connected us more as a couple because we’ve built a working system that makes both of us happy.”

And relationship authorities say a harmonious, agreeable system is the cornerstone of a healthy marriage. 

“There’s nothing more or less intimate about sharing a bedroom,” said New York City couples counselor Cyndi Darnell

“A strong relationship is created by willing individuals who put in the effort to create a sustainable relationship,” she added. “It doesn’t matter if you eat dinner at the same time or sleep in the same bed or even live in the same house. A [healthy] relationship is much more robust than any of your daily life machinations.”



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